THE INNKEEPER
Luke 2:7
And she gave birth to her first-born son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.
This Christmas narrative can be found in Frederick Buechner’s book Secrets in the Dark.
I speak to you as men of the world, not as idealists, but as realists. Do you know what it is like to run an inn—to run a business, a family, to run anything in this world for that matter, even your own life? It is like being lost in a forest of a million trees and each tree is a thing to be done.
Is there fresh linen on all the beds? Did the children put on their coats before they went out? Has the letter been written, the book read? Is there money enough left in the bank?
Today we have food in our bellies and clothes on our backs, but what can we do to make sure that we will have them still tomorrow?
A million trees. A million things.
Until finally we have eyes for nothing else, and whatever we see turns into a thing.
The sparrow lying in the dust at your feet—just a thing to be kicked out of the way, not the mystery of death.
The calling of children outside your window—just a distraction, an irrelevance, not life, not the wildest miracle of them all.
That whispering in the air that comes sudden and soft from nowhere—only the wind, the wind…
Of course, I remember very well the evening they arrived. I was working on my accounts and looked up just in time to see the woman coming through the door.
She walked in that slow, heavy-footed way that women have in the last months, as though they are walking in a dream or at the bottom of the sea. Her husband stood a little behind her—a tongue-tied, helpless kind of man, I thought.
I cannot remember either of them saying anything, although I suppose some words must have passed. But at least it was mostly silence. The clumsy silence of the poor. You know what I mean. It was clear enough what they wanted.
The stars had come out. I remember the stars perfectly though I don’t know why I should, sitting inside as I was. And my cat jumped up onto the table where I was sitting. I had not stood up, of course.
There was mainly just silence. Then it happened much in the way that you have heard. I did not lie about there being no room left—there really was none—though perhaps if there had been a room, I might have lied. As much for their sakes as for the sake of the inn. Their kind would have felt more at home in a stable, that’s all, and I do not mean that unkindly either. God knows.
Later that night, when the baby came, I was not there.
I was lost in the forest somewhere, the unenchanted forest of a million trees. Fifteen steps to the cellar, and watch out for your head going down. Firewood to the left. If the fire goes out, the heart freezes. Only the wind, the wind.
I speak to you as men of the world. So when the baby came, I was not around, and I saw none of it. As for what I heard—just at that moment itself of birth when nobody turns into somebody—I do not rightly know what I heard.
But this I do know. My own true love. All your life long, you wait for your own true love to come—we all of us do—our destiny, our joy, our heart’s desire. So how am I to say it? When he came, I missed him.
Pray for me, brothers and sisters. Pray for the Innkeeper. Pray for me, and for us all, my own true love.
About the book:
Secrets in the Dark: A Life in Sermons
By Frederick Buechner / HarperCollins
Frederick Buechner has long been a kindred spirit to those who find elements of doubt as constant companions on their journey of faith. He is a passionate writer and preacher who can alter lives with a simple phrase.
Buechner’s words, both written and spoken, have the power to revolutionize and revitalize belief and faith. He reveals the presence of God in the midst of daily life. He faces and embraces difficult questions and doubt as essential components of our lives, rather than as enemies that destroy us. “Listen to your life!” is his clarion call. This theme pervades this definitive collection of 37 sermons, delivered throughout Buechner’s lifetime. Presented chronologically, they provide a clear picture of the development of his theology and thinking. Reflecting Buechner’s exquisite gift for storytelling and his compassionate pastor’s heart, Secrets in the Dark will inspire laughter, hope, and bring great solace. Turn the pages and rediscover what it means to be thoughtful about faith. See why this renowned writer has been quoted in countless pulpits and beloved by Americans for generations.
This reading is an excerpt of a devotional from 
Christian Music and Inspirational Quotes 